Gorging at the Spiritual Buffet
“One thing I hear a lot as a result of my spiritual cowgirl status – and this is something you might hear too, as you progress down your own individual path – is the ol’ “spiritual buffet” indictment almost anyone who follows a single tradition or teacher likes to throw my way. The spiritual buffet indictment speaks to the fact that far too many spiritual curious people in this day and age think its perfectly fine to nonchalantly pick and choose what they want from the tantalizing array of religions and beliefs, books and teachers available in the modern world, only taking what they like, what feels good or looks good or matches their lives the way a nice painting matches their couch, while possibly missing what they might actually need: “Om, I’ll have the small shamanic salad with lite Vishnu dressing, a side order of Zen, and a fat free Torah shake with a channeled Star Being sprinkled on top.” The assumption of concern is that these spiritual gazers don’t really grow; they merely remain on the shallow surface of divine possibility, allowing their ego and personal issues and even unconscious negative habits to determine their spiritual meals. They eat the sweet and easy parts of spirituality (“Yum, goddess twirling is yay fun! Look how cool and spiritual I am!”), but don’t get the necessary spiritual roughage (“Oh shit, this practice has made me realize I’m the only reason why my life sucks right now”). They pass over the stuff that’s gonna truly fortify them, because it doesn’t taste as good and usually requires a bit of work, time, and discipline. Without any clear-cut guidelines, like those from a strict teacher or tradition, these buffet addicts merely become more self-involved. They think they are being spiritual while in fact they are just breeding more unhealthy patterns.
It all comes down to a simple, but absolutely essential reminder: As you explore, be exceptionally careful not to use spirituality as a cocktail, as just a quick high or a mere inebriating distraction. The point is to use various spiritual practices, beliefs, teachers, and even deities as self-empowering refreshers, to help you sober up for a more authentic divine connection.”
Sera Beak – The Red Book, Gorging at the Spiritual Buffet (page 22-23)
Wow, I knew I loved her from the very beginning of the preface. She definitely gets it. Now some of you might read that and be rather offended and disagree and you might have even stopped reading half way through out of enormous rejection at the very idea… the other portion of you are silently nodding your head with a smile, as a progressively stronger feeling of love and compassion overcomes you… If you’re one of the first ones, I really hope you decide to read that again, and hold the mirror up a little closer. Although if you keep reading, you’re likely to be even more offended, just an fyi.
Not to take this food thing too far, but spirituality is like a muscle. It needs to be exercised or what we commonly call “practice”. If you’re eating all this sweet candy and deserts and not having any real substance, those muscles aren’t going to gain very much strength. Take it from the body builders and athletes. Diet is very important… and your spiritual diet is even more important. In order to grow, you need real sustenance. You need to eat the stuff that doesn’t always taste so good.
All too often I run into spiritual people who love to talk the talk. They will tell you how spiritual and evolved they are, just as their phone rings and they lose their temper on the person they claim to love the most. I’m sorry but maybe I’m missing something… is spirituality just something you think and feel, but not something you DO? I think not. The entire premise of spirituality is action, and by the way non-action is also doing something, and that something happens to be nothing. I’ve seen the let-me-pick-what-is-easiest spiritual path, and I know exactly where that leads: In a circle… not a spiral, a circle.
I often go see a spiritual lecturer Jacob Glass (http://jacobglass.typepad.com/) who if you ever get a chance to go see him or purchase his lectures, I highly suggest it. He often talks about people through the years that have come to his lectures to be entertained. They come to get their spiritual high, per say… I think people do this with spirituality across the board, from New Age to Christianity to Buddhism to Wicca alike. It’s rather amusing to me that when Jacob gives a lecture that is more about action and change, its one of my favorite lectures. I’m always rather surprised to hear people around me say how they didn’t enjoy it as much. It didn’t give them their spiritual high cause it wasn’t all pretty fluff, it was more ‘here is some work for you to do on yourself’. People never like doing something, they like feeling something. In my spiritual path I can tell you time and time again much of the growth that I’ve done, the growth that really changed my baseline happiness level and the work that allowed me to stay calm in nearly any situation; that growth happened in the midst of turmoil and pain. It happened when I really dug deeper into my patterns and my thoughts and painfully ripped away those things that no longer served me. Even now as I continue to grow, as I retrain my ego daily and let go of beliefs that cause me suffering, even now as I do those things, it always takes work, and it never feels good. Letting go of the things we identify with is not only horrifying to most people, it really isn’t fluffy and pretty and soft. It’s rough and harsh and many times very painful. Growth takes discipline, focus and real courage.
A few months back Jacob developed a “Happiness Boot Camp” for his students. I was surprised when I would hear people say that it didn’t resonate with them. Umm what? You didn’t even try it and it already doesn’t work for you? For goodness sakes it’s called HAPPINESS Boot Camp. Oh no you might actually have to DO something instead of FEEL something. Jacob even says right there on the page It only works if you DO it! Pardon my frankness…
Another great example of this that I’ve noticed in the past few months is the Byron Katie material… wow is she amazing. She has an amazing formula for growth and it really works. If you aren’t familiar with her, I’d suggest the audio book “Loving What Is” and you can also check her out on the web at www.thework.com. Her formula is simple “Judge your neighbor, write it down, ask 4 questions, turn it around.” Simple right? What I’ve noticed is that in “The Work’ as she calls it there are some amazing steps, but the most essential step is the turn-around. That’s the painful step right? The step where we actually take all of our judgments on the world and we say, wow, this is really all about ME. Not him or her or them… that’s the part where we take responsibility for ourselves, and that’s the part where that painful stretching happens. Katie says herself about the turnarounds, “They are revelations, showing you previously unseen aspects of yourself reflected back through others.” This is where we truly begin to let go of our beliefs and change our patterns. Do you know how many times I’ve watched someone stop at the second question? Or how many times I’ve watched someone never even use the worksheet? The turn-around is where we actually heal… that’s the part that actually helps us to dissolve those patterns and ways of thinking and create a whole new baseline for our happiness.
Now, having practiced the Byron Katie material, I’ve learned quickly enough to understand that what someone else does is not my business. In fact as of late I’ve taken to being rather silent on advice, spiritual topics when they come up in conversation, or just about most things. In my life at this moment, my lessons have been to be less, talk less, listen more and seek to understand, not to be understood.
I didn’t write this today to tell anyone what to do or not to do, or even how to live for that matter… what seems to be clear is that if you consider yourself spiritual and are still suffering then maybe its time to go a little deeper. Lasting joy (not the external kind) comes when you painfully rip away those parts of yourself that cause suffering, those beliefs and patterns and ego centered thinking that separate us from the Divine. Happiness comes from the turn-around. It’s fostered in those moments of clarity, those healing moments of radical self-awareness, not self-pity.
That being said, if you come to me with your pity party, I’m unlikely to join in the festivities. I have little desire to interact with someone who isn’t willing to take responsibility for their life and their actions. If you decide to feel sorry for yourself and beat yourself up, maybe look a little deeper in that spiritual buffet and see what sustenance you might be missing… or don’t. It’s your life and you will suffer as long as you wish to suffer and when you’ve had just enough, you’ll let it go, and move on. There is no doubt that any action, anyone takes is just perfect in its entirety. No mistakes…
And with that, please know this all comes from a place of love.
